Hi everyone, today’s response is brought to you by P. T. Barnum Followers.
I think the title pretty much cover the whole story. A story about a guy who “hate himself” for being christian, and than some.
This is some of those thing you gotta think about yourself. Is sandman making up these stories!
The answer is yes!
Entire story is rehash copy of sandman own life!
Raised as christian, stuck with minorities, and parents using you as a pawn in their own fight…
I think papa is losing it!
Hi Sandman. I recently took the red pill from RazorBladeKandy, and naturally discovered Barbarosa and Stardusk and you through YouTubes suggestions. To be honest, I’m not sure what is hurting me more right now, my anger or my loss of purpose. I was raised in a Christian household by what I always thought were good, honest, and kind parents. My father taught me to be humble, honest and a gentleman. My mother taught me kindness, generosity, compassion, and to hate myself. The topic I would like you to cover is the use of self-deprecation or verbal Self-Hatred. I’m currently 36 and have spent the last 20 years of my life, battling with, and trying to correct the self loathing instilled in me. A near obsessive need to please everyone, while hurting those who care for me with my own self abuse. My identity has always been what I am to others. Any time I have tried to climb up the ladder of pride, I’m pulled down by the reminder from my father, “Beware of Hubris”. So I became an omega out of necessity, and trained my mind instead. But, I have always fantasised about being the hero and gaining the unconditional love a woman. Being the knight in shining armour saving the damsel in distress, and finally being able to stand up straight with pride, as proper male provider. I’ve been in three, 2 year relationships. Playing the roles of sweet nice guy, confident older guy, and captain save-a-hoe. All three ended because of infidelity and/or drug relapse. I am the 4th of five children all 2 years apart except my younger sister who is 8 years younger than me. My eldest sister has been married & divorced three times, has two kids with 2 different men, one of whom she was not married to. Next is my brother who is anti-social, terrified of females, a drug addict and always doing the bare minimum in life. He lives in my parents summer home, and relapses every time my parents visit him. My other older sister was my best friend through my younger life. I learned a lot of female behavior from her, and I think sub-consciously, she gave me some small red pills. However, I wasn’t able to say no to her, and we went through many long and terrible drug addictions together. I was her resource provider, and protector. I did bad things, attempted suicide, did more bad things and ended up in prison for 4 years which saved my life, but she killed herself shortly after I was incarcerated, another victim of the killer with a thousand faces. I don’t think I could have resisted going back to drugs if she had still been around when I got out, so her sacrifice gave me the freedom and strength to go on. All of us are infected with (what would the neighbors think) syndrome. Drilled into us by our parents. Always too busy worrying about what
other people thought or wanted instead of what we thought or needed.